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 I stopped listening to stuff JKR says when she decided it was a good idea to say that dumbledore was gay instead of putting it in the books. And everything ppl tell me she's said since (lycanthropy is a metaphore for hiv/aids for example) has been weak as fuck. The most upsetting thing about this is that it is getting more attention than the really offensive stuff she says. 

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 Trying to re-attach myself to Snape-centric Harry Potter fandom after all these years has been, and continues to be, a rather strange and unsettling experience. My leaving the fandom just after Deathly Hallows was released was largely, if not exclusively, Snape related. I couldn't quite handle the combination of Snape's death and the disclosure of Snape's motivation. And coming back years later it's been uncomfortable looking at how fans interpret Snape now. It turns out Lily is used, at least in some circles,  as a kind of get out of jail free card. Everything Snape ever did is ok because he loved Lily... 

On the other hand one can not go on tumblr without a storm of Snape hate. Apparently finding Snape an interesting character makes one a bad person. And no matter what Snape did to help fight Voldemort, he was still a bad teacher and a bully and just Not Ok.  He was a horrible person, obviously , but I've never understood this idea of only liking characters that are good. What I wanted from Snape was always for him to remain a bit of a git, but a git who eventually grew up, realized exactly what the Death Eaters were about, and decided to change sides. "Always" being the only reason to change sides, is just not satisfying enough. 

Before I left HP, I belive I quoted Henry Jenkins:  fan response typically involves not simply fascinatin or adoration but also frustration and antagonism, and it is the combination of the two responses which motivates their active engagement with the media

Excuse me while I go rip my hair out. Or throw the cat out the window. Yeah, that's a better idea.
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 I am told I am to write something about Dumbledore and his particular brand of cruelty. There are some fics floating around where he's openly cruel, especially to Snape. Dumbledore IS cruel to Snape in canon, so there are grounds for that kind of interpretation of him. But in my head Dumbledore's cruelty works in a slightly different way. He only rarely breaks out the "you disgust me". Instead he practices cruelty through kindness. Dumbledore is supportive. He gives people exactly what they need to feel safe. He tells them exactly what they need to hear. He makes people believe in him. And then he uses them. And the damn thing is, he's not just kind to tie people to him. He means it all. He is actually all the things that he seems to be. But he also manipulates people. And it's not right. And he knows it's not right. He does it anyway and that is exactly where he is a horrible horrible man. Especially to Snape. 

Damn you, Dumbledore. 

 
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I've been trying to get back to animanga lately with varying results. We have a few long term anime projects, including Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood (which is delightful), Maria-sama ga miteru (which is on my list or boring yet amazing shows together with legend of the galactic heroes), and Madoka Magica.

I had high expectations for Madoka, but it's not working for me at all. The male gaze is too obvious and I can't connect with any of the characters, which makes the experience painfully slow. And after Utena and Princess Tutu, I expect a lot more  from so called magical girl deconstruction.

I am also reading Princess Jellyfish, the anime was one of the best things I've watched in years, and the manga is great so far! Finally Genshiken for people who aren't cis dudes!

But really I want to get back to josei and shojo, but other than that I don't really know. I think I'm just going plung in and see what I find.

AND I got a really cool rec: Gunjou, a manga about a married woman who convinces her lesbian lover to kill her husband. Is this the lesbian manga of my dreams?! The first of three volumes is around online, and I have a feeling that this story might be worth learning japanese for. And I have already seen it referred to as as josei, seinen, yuri and bian. Yay the confusion!

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